Friday, November 22, 2013

The Final Instalment Of My 20s

I turned 29 today.


Not sure I can honestly say I'm where I want to be right now as I teeter on the edge of 30 but... I guess you could say I'm not where I don't want to be. Heh. Is that good enough? Well... when is anything ever really good enough, eh? So, yes. I'll confess with my mouth and believe in my heart that what I have so far has got to be good enough for 29-year-old me.


What have I to complain about anyways? I'm married to the man of my dreams, living my happy-ever-after life where we are both co-owners of a little, 72.5cm-tall, 9kg-heavy somebody we deem the most adorable, lovable, so-cute-until-cannot-tahan-able boy on the planet. Sure, a part of me really wishes I had a job that paid well in dollars and cents but... I guess getting paid in hugs, kisses and kiddie drool isn't all that bad la, right?


They say "The grass is always greener on the other side." I sure hope its true when it comes to birthdays on the "other side" of 30. To be honest, I don't remember enjoying the last few birthdays of my late twenties. Because of that, birthdays just seem to have lost their luster. "It's just another day" – the jaded ones always say. Well, it sure feels that way for me nowadays, so I really can't help but nod in agreement. Maybe what other people say will ring true for me, come 21 November 2014; maybe there's a chance that "Life (really does) begins at 30." Maybe. Hopefully? We'll see. 


So. How did I spend the 24 hours I turned 29?


Well, I missed the actual "turning 29" cos I was in bed before midnight yesterday. Haha. Then, I spent most of the night feeding my fussy, always-hungry little boy. (No, he is so not STTN yet. Sigh.) Then, I got out of bed waaaay before I wanted to – at 7.30AM – cos that same little boy decided that the morning of my birthday should begin at 6.30AM. *groan*


After that, my day was same-old-same-old-day-in-day-out until 3PM when I packed my life in KL into a cramped sedan, exited Subang, and hit the North-South Highway. (Goodbye, KL! You know I'll miss you much – as I always do! T_T) 360km North, a traffic jam, and a Police summons later, came dinner at CRC (where we bumped into Dee! =D) and then it was back home to wash up and get settled back in Penang.


After the lights went out, I tried to steal some time away to bond with my MBP that I haven't seen or touched in over a month, to blog about my lacklustre birthday but... as fate would have it, my son decided that tonight would be the night that he would stay up till midnight and fight me as he fends off sleep. Perfect timing as always! Yay! Not. -_-''' So, yes. It is only at 30 minutes past my birthday that he finally knocks off and I am rewarded with some time alone with my thoughts.


And here I am. Typing on my comp, thinking my tangled thoughts. Thoughts too complicated to be worded; thoughts too disenchanting to be immortalised; thoughts too private to be put on a page.


Ugh.

You know what? This post is getting depressing.
And you know what else? Birthdays just suck la. >(


My day felt pretty normal before I started writing this post, to be honest. It felt like "just another day". And I did feel happy-ish initially. But now that I'm doing a recap, it feels like the lamest birthday e-v-e-r. Sigh. WTH, man. Oh well, at least there was cake.




Happy 29th birthday, me.


Note To Self: Please la... Make your 30th birthday a bit more happening can?? Don't later look back and regret not doing anything special like this birthday and the last few birthdays past. Never learn wan ah?? Kanasai la. *slaps self*

6 comments :

Denise-T said...

Still, I want to wish you a Happy Birthday! For all the so-called depressing post above that u called up there, it was a wonderful post to know that the little boy decided to celebrate with you in his own way! :D

pamsong said...

ATTN: Denise-T
– Thanks, Denise! And yessss... boy, did the little one give me a heck of a "celebration". I'm still hungover! HAHA!

neena said...

I just could not agree more, Pam! I mean, really! My 29th was as "meh" as yours, minus little baby. Few wishes here and there (more virtual ones than actual-in-my-face ones), and a (routine) bday dinner with my parents, it was basically, like you said, just like any other day. 30th, you wait!!

neena said...

Eh, wait. Happy belated birthday to you! Here's to better birthdays! Lol!

reddaisie said...

hehe yea..birthday can seem like just another day when we get older... my trick is i'll just take the day off and do whatever i wanna do but cannot do on my normal days.
Dress up, go for tea, spa, meet up with friends and snap lotsa pics

Although the camwhore part will feel a bit lame but when i look through the photos at home before my bday ends it gives me a wonderful feeling.

I guess, we all go through those emo nights...mid life crisis they call it?
But when we really think about it, our lives aren't that bad. In fact very blessed d...just that there's always this nagging feeling that it could be better.

Anyways happy turning 29. :)

pamsong said...

ATTN: neena
– Yerrrrr... why we two so sad case wan? T_T Sigh. At least I'm not the only one lah. Boo hoo. We can wallow in our misery together. Haha. AND YA LA! TO BETTER BIRTHDAYS!!! Cheers!


ATTN: reddaisie
– But but but... there are no days off with motherhood!!! *wails* How???

And yessss... totally quarter life crisis la, I tell you. I want... MORE! To have more -ER behind every word. I want to be happiER. PrettiER. Happening-ER. Hahahahaha.

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