You Smell

Sometime last week, I was sitting down with JJ somewhere forgotten doing something unforgettable when, out of the blue, a mosquito started attacking me. ZzzZzzzzZzz – I kept hearing it and seeing it come dangerously close to my bare arms and legs. That deadly tease! 😡

I attempted a murderous clap at it... but missed. I dodged... and escaped. But constantly swinging between clapping and dodging, fighting and flight-ing, is hella tiring! 😮‍💨 "Why is it attacking meeee???" I wailed – a question to no one in particular. 😫 But the answer came swiftly: 

"BECAUSE YOU
SMELL SO GOOD!"

JJ burst out angrily and stomped off 

leaving me to fend for my life alone.

😳

Uh... Sorry, Son. 🫤 But thank you? 😅😂

p/s: I should really remember blogging things I would like to remember before I start losing details. This just happened last week but #ChemoBrain is real! #TheStruggleContinues

Happiness Or Happy-less?

"Happiness is a choice."

Or so they say. 

But is this true? Is happiness really a choice? 

Or does someone else choose if you have it?

The reality is, that happiness often lies beyond our control, influenced more by the circumstances we find ourselves in, rather than by choice. I do not choose to be unhappy. But I find myself grappling with unhappiness, nonetheless. 😔

So, while we can make choices that may lead to moments of joy or contentment, asserting that happiness is purely a choice overlooks the myriad of uncontrollable external elements that shape our lives and affect our emotional landscape. 

In the end, perhaps it is not about choosing happiness, but about navigating the complexities of choice and circumstance with grace and resilience. And hopefully, somewhere along the way, there'll be happiness.

The New Reality

Loved < Lost 

Joy < Sadness 

Security < Fear

Confidence < Insecurity

Appreciated < Abandoned 

D-Day

D-End. ⚰️⚱️☠️

The Problem With Moving

Source: "The problem with moving abroad" by @destination_savvy

Saw this on IG today and it just summed up how I felt

when I was in the thick of planning my move back to Penang. 

No, I never lived abroad. Never had the chance. I studied, began my career and started my family in my homeland 🇲🇾, except I was a 3.5-hour drive away from the city in which I was born. 

Moving to KL at 17, I didn't think anything would change. I didn't feel the difference nor expect the divide when I left. I didn't foresee any detachment. I mean, I was born and bred in Penang! NRIC 07! I would always be a Penangite! And a proud one at that! 🫡

But still, it happened. This happened. 👆

It was only when I was preparing for my move back to my hometown a good 18 years later when I was in my mid-thirties, that the distinction between the me then and the me now became obvious. I realised that I didn't know how to move back home,... because home didn't feel like home anymore. 🫤

I left a carefree teenage student at the cusp of life.

I returned, a wife and a mother, and later a survivor, 

with a business to run and a home and family to care for. 

I can't explain it any other way. It really, really felt like time stood still the whole time I was away, and I had outgrown this life that once was mine. To be honest, Penang was almost unrecognisable. I couldn't get to where I wanted to go without Waze. (I learned to drive in KL. 😅) And even old friends had turned into familiar strangers almost two decades later. 

Still, I had to try.

Refamiliarising myself with my little island took a while. In fact, it took longer than expected, no thanks to Covid and the lockdown. And although I still miss my life and friends in KL so many, many muchness, 4.5 years later, I can finally say that I'm starting to grow accustomed to life back in Penang. 🏝️

I've kinda settled on my favourite hawkers, haunts, and hangouts; places where the aunties, uncles, and service staff know me, my name and my order well enough for me to sit down and just have the food arrive. (Every day go same place, eat same-same. 😆) I've rekindled old friendships and made new ones. But yes, I still use Waze everywhere I go; at least now it's mainly to avoid traffic. (Penang also always jam.)

Is this home? Well, my house here feels like home. 🏡 But beyond these four walls, I still have a ways to go before I can honestly say that Penang is, without a doubt, where I feel most at home at as opposed to anywhere else in the world. In the mean time, I guess this is my truth:

Penang is my base, KL is my escape and Family is my home.

The Word "Piano"

JJ has always had a way with words.

JJ: Do we have piano today? 

Pam Song: Yes

.JJ: WHATTTTT??? I hate piano!

Pam Song: You still have to go.

JJ: Why?? Even the word "piano" has NO in it! Pia-NO!

Pam Song: 😅😂🤣 Hahahahaha... Good one. Let's go.

JJ: NooOoOoOOoooOOoo!

LOL. This boy cracks me up!

A Pink-Themed Christmas Tree & Year-End Wishes

Bought my family Christmas tree along with all its bells and whistles a long time ago during the Christmas of 2012 and it has served me well all these years. Pretty. But also pretty boring after a decade and one. So, this is the very first time I'm switching things up and giving our family tree the chance to look pink and rosy. #myChristmaswishthisyear #girlydreamcometrue #pinkfever

It's not what you'd typically find in a home with boys but, I mean... The person who dresses the tree gets to decide what it looks like, right?? 🤣🙆‍♀️ Anyway, I've always thought of doing this – switch up one key colour every year – but I just never got around to doing it. I think it'd be a great idea in the long run to help us differentiate the years instead of just guesstimating our Christmases with the kids' increasing heights. 😂😅 

Christmas 2024 with my updated Christmas tree, Version 2.0. 🎄 

Anyhoo... Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, 

and Happy One-Week-In-Between from

me and my little family to you and yours. 🥳

Dealing With An Idiot

What does one do when one finds oneself trapped in the never-ending nightmare of dealing with a perpetual idiot who has made practising idiocy their life's calling? How many times is an idiot allowed to be idiotic before his/her idiocy becomes too much for one to bear? And what if, by some cosmic joke, one is tasked with the unenviable duty of managing a true master of idiocy? 

How to tahan dealing 

with an idiot day in and day out?? 

How to tahan, I ask you?!? 😤😡

The patience of a saint, the diplomacy of a seasoned diplomat, and a sense of humour that borders on the absurd – three things that are required for one to successfully deal with those who have made idiocy their life's calling; all of which, I do not have. 😕 So, I shall blog this rant, take a deep breath, steel myself for the idiocy ahead, and remember, this day shall end, sleep shall come, and when I awaken, His mercies are new every morning. 😮‍💨🌈☀️