Monday, April 30, 2007

Life

Nuffnang finds advertisers that go well with my blog posts.

At least, that's what they tell me.
It's in listed on Blogger FAQ Q1: iv.




Hmmm.


I don't know exactly what this means right now. You see, I've got Kurnia Insurance advertising on Tinki Talks (look right). O-k-a-y. Uh, this is NOT very cool, right? Not cool at all, right right? This is so gonna ruin my uber-cool, uber-happening, super-terror reputation as Queen of Chic, right right right? (Disagree and I'll kill you. I promise you, I will.)


Sigh.


I can't make sense outta that choice those guys at Nuffnang made. Have I really written that much about Life? Sigh. It's days like these that you know that what you write about has finally come back to haunt you. How la now? It's true, isn't it? You know you've written too much on Life when you're only 20-something but your personal blog is picked to advertise Kurnia's MediGUARD Premier Insurance. Haha. It says a LOT.


Not cool. Not cool. Not cool.


I so need to stop being such an oldie and
start living life to the fullest right now.


Perhaps it's a sign that I've been a little too philosophical about life lately. Haha. Or maybe it shows that I just think too much. Analyze too much. Waaaay too much. Perhaps I should stop, change my style and just start writing about what I eat for supper, or who I meet throughout the day, or maybe just copy and paste lame jokes I find over the internet. Sigh.


*blink blink*


But I like talking about life!

Hmmph! That's it.
I shall keep talking about life if I want to.
And believe me, I WANT TO.

Kurnia so has to stop messing with my head.


*blink blink*


See, I think too much.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Stop While It Moves

Life seems to be moving way to fast for me these days.




Forget about what I want to do. As it is,
I already barely keep up with all I have to do.

Sigh.



Sometimes it's nice to stop and just take a breather every once in awhile. Stand and do nothing; stop and not think about anything. Sigh. I miss the abundance of that luxury I used to have at my expense. And when I do get a chance at it these days, I revel in it. Relish it. Lap it all up. Even if it's in an elevator that's taking me right to where it all starts moving in high speed once again.

KLCC

I marvel at your beauty. I do.




I can't help but be enthralled by the view from down here.
Now I can't help but wonder what it's like way up there.

Go Slow


Slow-moving traffic isn't all that bad
if you don't mind entertaining yourself.

And With That, Life Ends Up Where It Began

Was munching on Mamee and suddenly came to the realisation that my 20-something years of life has brought me one full circle – back to where I began. I guess I expected this day to come but I just never expected it to come so soon.


Not catching my drift? Blur already? Sigh.
You guys need to be more analytical laaa.


There's meaning in everything, okay. You just have to look beyond the surface in order to find it. But rest assured, you don't have to squint the rest of your life away looking for coded messages. Do it long enough and soon, those messages just start jumping out at you. Sometimes they even scream for your attention. Drawing you, calling you to step out of Normality and into the realm of the mind. They engulf you in their little world of make believe.


*grin*

Sounds very The Number 23, right?


Haha. Sorry la. I just watched it. Brilliant movie. Go catch it if you're up for 2 hours of messing with your head. The ending was da bomb. The twists were brilliant. The plot was engaging. Superb!


*blink blink*


But I did make this observation before watching it so, rest assured, this post is all me. Hmmm. Perhaps I've got OCD tendencies hidden under my 'Normal' facade. =p


*looks around*

Walls still clean and scribble-free. Phew.

So anyway, I've ended up landing where I started.




When I was a child under parental care, I ate Mamee. I ate packets and packets of them through days when I wasn't earning a sen. Days when I probably didn't even know the value a sen had unless it was in relation to the number of Mamee packets I could buy. Heh. Days when life was simple. No. Correction. Days when my mind was simple.


But then I grew up. During my in-between years, I moved on to better (more expensive) junk – Twisties, Cheezels, Doritos, Lays. Sure, I still wasn't earning a penny but I was already given a fixed allowance. I knew what I could afford and what I couldn't. Those were good times.


And now, as I step into the working world, the arena brings me back to where I first began – Mamee. It tastes good and it's cheap. Heh. Earning your own money does that to you. Cheap matters. Our relationship has been rekindled. Mamee's the way to go. And with that, we're back at one.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Spelling Success

Success is a cultural obsession. A phenomenon that has taken the young and no-so-young-these-days by storm. In fact, the I-Want-To-Be-Successful-In-This-Lifetime Wave has clearly flooded (tsunami-ed, in fact) both the minds of the urban and rural dwellers of our time.


It's scary. It is. To me, at least.


You see, to me, success encompasses more than just having a herd of zeros running before the decimal point in my bank account. That's achieving financial success. But to be a success requires so much more than that.


Making a successful living and living a successful life are two very different notions. What is the point of earning all the money in the world but not having lived life? There is no point. Because, in actual fact, if you've got all the money in the world and nothing much else, well... you're actually nothing much at all.


Seems harsh and depressing, doesn't it?

I'm not being half-empty, guys. I'm being honest.


I want to be successful. Don't we all? I aspire to be much more than I am today. But the horizon of my dream goes so much further than the parameters that financial success has set for me. I want to be a success. And a success in every way possible, at that.


I want to be well read. I want to know a lot about a lot of things and a lot of people. I want to do great things in life. I want to do well at the workplace. I want to cultivate, manage and keep healthy friendships. I want to have a good family. I want to be a good daughter. I want to be a good partner. And I want to be a good friend. I want to do my ultimate best in living a life He can be proud of me for.


Yes, I want to do all that and more.

But right now, it's just words on a screen. To me and to you.
It's all just talk that can easily be forgotten, and easily be erased.

This isn't spelling success.
It isn't spelling success in anyway at all.


What matters is that when I die, the people I've crossed paths with tell others that I've done all I wanted to do. That's when I know, I've spelt success in MY terms, in the life I lived.

Sunflower Power


Saw the most lovely bouquet of sunflowers on my way out to lunch and thoughts of you instantly popped into mind. Thanks for being who you have been, are and will be (I believe that time will just prove what I already know) to me. Love you.

Why is the rum gone?

Okay, I have a problem with this blog title.

I don't like it.

It totally ruins every bit of consistency
I've striven to put into this blog.


You see, I've always always ALWAYS had first letter caps for post titles but I'm uncertain if the guys at Nuffnang would disqualify me for it. Hmmph. They really shouldn't, though. It essentially says the same thing wat!


But... it's better to be safe than sorry. Sigh. Of course, we both know that that's just a really nice way of saying I'm too chicken to do anything that may screw up my chances at FREE TICKETS for a private movie screening of PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3!!!




*grin*

Yes yes, now you know why I use post titles I hate. Haha.

Sigh.

The things, I do for freebies.
I know, I should be ashamed.


Nuffnang, you better make this post worth it.
I broke tradition for it. I broke tradition for YOU.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Start Drawing Pretty Pictures

I got this from a friend a couple of years ago and just never forgot it. It's simple but brilliant, really. I left a mark in my mind, I hope it leaves a mark in yours, too.


5 Important Lessons to Learn from a Humble Pencil


1. Everything you do will leave a mark. Good deeds, random acts of kindness, loving words uttered, they all impact the lives of others around us in some way or another – in good ways. People remember us kindly, think of us a little more often and extend us their hand when we're going through rough patches in life. It all seems nice and dandy, doesn't it? Like everybody's part of a nice, big, happy family. But realise this: what you do that isn't God-pleasing also leaves marks – unsightly marks that scar, disfigure and unravel what ever good you've done. So, what kind of marks do YOU want to leave?


2. You can always correct the mistakes you've made. If you've done wrong, fret not. There are always ways to make amends. It won't be easy. Righting a wrong rarely is. But it is definitely necessary. You can't possibly go through life making enemies and hurting those around you wherever you go, right? It just isn't acceptable behaviour. The secret lies in finding the right eraser. Some leads require softer erasers, some leads require harder ones to do a proper clean up. Find the right eraser and you'll be well on your way to a clean sheet.


3. What's important is what's inside you and not the outside. I've bought pencils that look good but do nothing. You know, those pretty decorative ones they sell at gift shops when you go abroad. They're rarely dark enough, they scratch holes in my pages, and they never totally get erased. It's not the look that counts. So the moral of this point is that no matter how bashed up you look on the outside, if your lead is quality lead, you know you'll go far. Go, Staedtler pencils! You look like crap but your insides rock. I aspire to be just like you.


4. In life, you are bound to undergo painful sharpenings that make you better in what you do. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. It's unfair but we have to admit that it does happen. Some say it's Life's way of strengthening us. It is a test of our ability to face the storm... and of course get through it at the end of the day. I was going through a rough patch once and this friend of mine sent me this sms: "The measure of your trials is the measure of God's faith and trust in you. Keep that chin up, girl. Keeping you in prayers." If God has put you to it, he will bring you through it. Just be sure to keep hanging on to Him. And anyway, take heart. You always come out stronger than you were before. What doesn't break you can only make you.


5. To be the best you can be, you must allow yourself to be held and guided by the hand that holds you. In the hands of a Gifted Artist, even skilled works of art come from mere mortals such as we. Therefore, you better make sure you end up in the right hands or you're in big trouble.


I'm gonna start drawing me some pretty pictures.
After all, I've got help from up above.



When It Rains, It Pours

...and I just keep drowning in the flood.

Before the rain.




Beautiful, innit?


I love the way the grass always looks oh-so-green and the dunno-what-tree leaves always sway when they're tickled by the breeze. (Palm trees, maybe? Hmmm. Or coconut trees? Nah, can't be. Haven't seen any coconuts. Pokok Pinang, perhaps? Dunno la. I'm not some tree expert.) The view kinda eases the whole tense, I-so-need-to-meet-a-deadline-in-5-minutes working atmosphere that I'm getting very much akin to. Haha. I like. I like a lot a lot.


When it rains, it floods.




Yes, it floods pretty bad.


I love it though. The way killer raindrops burst into a zillion smaller droplets on the glass panes that extend from floor to ceiling, just 4 feet away from me. The way the wind nudges the glass that's all around me into eerie howls that come and go. The way the lights above me glow warmly while the rain furiously attacks the building I'm cosily seated in with a pashmina around my shoulders. I love it when it rains. Except, of course, for terribly rainy days when I have to play heroine and save my car from the rising, murky flood waters. Heh.


After the rain.




A calm has settled.


Sure, the place looks like it got hit by a hurricane but the atmosphere is undeniably lovely after the rain. The smell of fresh air. The way the water on the ground no longer ripples. The way the cool breeze starts to fan the dunno-what-tree leaves once again. Sigh. I love it.


Life's like that as well, isn't it?


The good and the bad stuff comes in seasons. When the weather's fine, the sun shines, the birds chirp, and the stars twinkle at night. Life welcomes Summer with open arms and hopes that the season never passes. But it always does.


The clouds roll in and before you know it, the sun's no longer in sight. The wind gets stronger and the breeze a little colder than it was before. Autumn hits Life with a good chill before ushering in tougher times in days to come.


The occasional stormy day is unavoidable, isn't it? That's when the wind howls, the window panes shiver and the lights go off when the fuse trips. All seems dark and dreary, every thing's wet and drenched through... unless we're protected from the storm by One far greater than ourselves. Winter is hard to bear but when it comes, you better be at the right place, in the hands of the right One, or that winter will be a cold, hard, lonely one. If you've got that part down pat, hang in there. It'll all be over before you know it.


Soon, Spring makes an appearance. The grass grows, the flowers flower, the wild rabbits scamper through the woods, and the sun peeks out behind the clouds with a shy smile. Soon enough, it's as green as it ever was again.


I guess Life's such. It's not that it plays games with us and sees which one of us breaks down before the other. Instead, Life, herself, is subject to the games Season plays. But He who made the seasons is the One who's the Biggest Boss at the table, right? So, the bottom line is this: know Who to speak to when the wind starts blowing a little harder than you're used to and all will be well.


Talk to Him. He listens. He always listens.


---------


Oh, by the way. Just so you know,
this picture is one of the 8th floor.
Yes, the EIGHTH floor. KL so rocks.

Uh,... I mean floods. =p

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Soon-Soon Is Here

*sigh*

Life sure is difficult these days.


I mean, blogging is fun. And I do feel at ease when I blog. It helps me clear my head, ease my mind, relax my muscles and disentangle the knots I've tied in my head. In fact, it's somewhat therapeutic, I'd say. Very good for my mental, psychological and emotional health.


Wooooo-sah.

*pauses*

But today, apa woo-sah pun tak ada.

*frowns*

I don't believe that I am actually subject to harassment
by some of my readers when I go a day without posting.




Tsk tsk tsk.


Some people are just sooooo demanding. Well, dear, Soon-Soon (with the Chinese twang so commonly used for Chinese names that you just loooove) came today after all. Are ya happy now? Have you been entertained?


*grin*


Now you better start telling the world that I'm super-duper-uber-woober nice or my Harassment Konco will soon be headed your way. You have been forewarned.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Inside Looking Out


I captured this image sometime last week. The view it so proudly displays always meant that I was standing at the brink of a brand new day. I loved it. I loved the feeling it brought me. What a greeting. What a way to kick off the day.


I am, by nature, not a morning person but this made the early dawns so much more bearable. I'd say that it was arguably my favourite part of the morning. Yes, arguably. But only because there was another scenic beauty that brightened my every day.


But now, this very same image makes my heart ache. When just days before, I was deeply enthralled by the glorious daylight that shone beyond the shade of the walls, today, it tells me that no matter how much I love the view that lies no more than a hundred steps before me, I'm still standing in the shade. I'm already so close to whatever that lies beyond. So close that I can already feel the warmth of the morning sun radiating off the concrete. I see it. But I can't seem to reach it.


So there I stood, a scared twenty-something year old desperately clinging on to her camera phone hoping that the sun doesn't go down on her, but is already fully covered and darkened by the shadows that seem to grow from the looming walls on either side of her.


Perspective is such a scary thing. It determines everything. And when it flips, everything else flips. These days, I can't say that I feel joy when I walk past these walls that stand between me and both sides of ground just 8 storeys below. I barely even see them.


For there is no sun. Only shadows.



If You Want Me To

Artist: Ginny Owens
Song Title: If You Want Me To

The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if You want me to

Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire if You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley if You want me to

"The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here"


So many questions in my head. Unanswered ones. I don't know what's happening. So many thoughts racing through my mind. Weary ones. Overwhelming me some of the time, drowning me at others. I feel lost. So many things I've kept, stored and guarded within my heart. Protected from the trespassing eyes and intruding ears of the rest of the world. But it's all dying to come out. To break free. To be liberated. To find release. To finally heal.


"But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone"

And only He can heal like no other
for only He has never failed to protect.

I am not alone.


















--------


I don't know why it is so,
And I don't know how it will go.
I sure don't know what to expect,
But I know You're not through with me yet.
– pamsong, 23rd of April 2007

ON THE PLANET

Folks, today I feature my favourite picture of the entire week
(which, FYI, I took with my very professional photography skills).


*snicker*


So, without much further ado,
I bring you the prettiest, nicest,
most curvaceous, most attractive,
most well-proportioned, most well-shaped,
most uterus-skipping, most heartwarming,
most heart-racing yet heart-stopping
stomach ON THE PLANET.




Sigh.

So nice, no?

Be Kiddish

I lose like a kid.


And mind you, we're not talking about recreational games here. We don't really do sports talks here on Tinki Talks. Haha. Nope nope. Nothing to do with winning and losing a game. Just losing. And not losing in general. It's specific. Very specific.


JENG! Dunno what I'm talking about leh. Wahahaha.

*blink blink*

No, wait. It's not funny. Not funny at all.
In fact, it's bad. Very very bad to lose.

I'll bet you're lost right now, aren't ya?
Heh. Good. Works for me.

*grin*

Yup yup, just like a kid.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Mari Kita Berbahasa Melayu

Apa khabar, kawan-kawan semua?


Pos ini kini khas didedikasikan kepada pihak misteri (ya, saya pun tak tau siapa secara spesifik) yang telah memilih Tinki Talks ("Tinki Bercakap" tak sedap didengar) untuk meletakkan iklan mereka. Ribuan terima kasih saya ucapkan dengan hati yang ikhlas sampai putih-putih berseri.


Tak senang nak bertaip Bahasa Melayu.
Sangat lambat. Ish.


Sebenarnya, betul betul terperanjat aku bila nampak perkataan "LESEN MATI?" dalam blog (goblok?) saya pagi tadi. Diletakkan tinggi-tinggi lagi! Haha. Ingatkan apa ni cakap mati-mati. Pantang betul. Mana tau, topik sah. Mengenai lesen memandu pula! Waaa. Tiba-tiba saya terasa seperti Tinki Talks begitu bertanggungjawab kepada negara kita yang bersih lagi indah, serta cukup kaulat bertanggungjawab kepada populasi negara kita.


Kata akhir, ingat! Kalau belum tukar lesen memandu kamu lagi, sila berbuat demikian. Adalah dianggap tidak kool kalau ditangkap Polis Trafik ya. Tak kool langsung.


Dengan itu, saya ucapkan selamat tinggal buat masa kini. Tapi ingat! Pos ini adalah pos Bahasa Melayu. Oleh itu, pandai-pandailah dengan komen-komen kamu. Kita berjumpa lagi pada masa akan datang dan, pada masa itu, kita berbahasa Inggeris pula ya. Lambat aku nak taip Bahasa Melayu. Masa bagaikan wang, rakan-rakan sekalian. Masa bagaikan wang. (Cikgu kata kalau masukkan bak kata pepatah dalam karangan, pastinya boleh diberi markah lebih.)


Aiseh. Terror.

*ketawa*

Tinki Talks
boleh.


----------


Kira ok la kan? Tepuklah tangan sikit.
Sudah enam tahun tidak berkarangan, tau?

Saturday, April 21, 2007

It Starts With Acknowledgment, Not Rejection

You have never failed me. You never will.


-----------


Peace is not the absence of turmoil,
it's the acknowledgment of God's presence.
– Rev. Robb Thompson


-----------


He won't fail YOU either. He never will.
Walk in His presence and He will never allow you
to be moved, made to fall, slip or fail.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Kill The Cat!

Check out my latest wallpaper.




Quite cool, right?


Looks like what they say is true. There's good in all situations. You just have to know where to look. Heh. At least the lousy cat brought me some inspiration after all. Heck, I even get to see myself (in my head) killing it everyday with the help of my trusty wallpaper reminder. Nyek nyek nyek. This is the life.

Operasi Train Jantan: Part 5


Read Operasi Train Jantan: Part 1, Operasi Train Jantan: Part 2,
Operasi Train Jantan: Part 3, and Operasi Train Jantan: Part 4
first if you haven't read them yet.


------------


Hello, dear friends. I'm back.

*evil grin*

And the today's topic will be: SENSITIVITY.

Tada!

A short and sweet introduction for once.
It's a good change, no?


Okay. Enough with the hippie vibe. (I blame the fancy colours that come with Blogspot.) This is serious business. No play play.


Be sensitive to your girl's feelings.


Don't you dare "duh" me.
I know you're doing it.

*glare*

You better shut your trap
before I stuff it with mangled cat carcass.

*deep Yoga breath*


I don't think it's asking for much, actually. But sometimes, it's just being sensitive enough to empathise with however she's feeling (even if she's happy). You know? Share the sorrow and double the joy. Do it. It shows a lot about how much you care for her. Never downplay her feelings or overlook her achievements. If they mean anything at all to her, they should at the very least mean something to you.


Of course, I know that there are girls out there who are waaaay too sensitive for their own good. That's a different case la. I'm referring to the more NORMAL girls here. The ones who only make you bear with the not-so-uncommon blue-moon-PMS, and those with the once-in-awhile-only mood swings.


And of course, sensitivity in other areas are required, too. There are words men say that hurt the women they see without them even realising it. Or perhaps actions they do or decisions they make that imply to his woman that he doesn't care as much as he actually does on the inside. The message of the heart is distorted by messages sent by the 5 senses. See? Therefore, whatever message that goes out to her heart needs to speak to her 5 senses accurately, too. Or else what you feel on the inside will fail to come out right. Not worth it, right?


Sigh. Bottom line is this. It'd be nice of you to put yourself in her shoes once in awhile. You know? And think about this. Could it be that you're just too self absorbed to see where she's coming from and why she feels the way she does?


Some men say that girls are too sensitive.
Could it be that they're the ones who are IN-sensitive?


----------


It's Friday already. The weekend's finally headin' my way.
Full steam ahead, dearie! Wheee!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Go With The Dog

Why?


Cos cats are stupid. You know? No. Wait. They're beyond stupid. They bypassed stupid so long ago that it's probably already been deleted from their iddy-biddy brains (IF they even have brains to begin with. And mind you, that's a BIG if. In fact, they're so stupid that they're stooooooopid. Ugh! Stupid.




Bodoh mia kucing. Cannot see you la!


If I'd have stepped on you and you scratched me, it could have gotten ugly. Real ugly. You'd have died a slow and painful death. My Claws of Eternal Death are long and sharp. What? You think yours only ah? Plus, I visit the dentist every 6 months so my teeth are in damn good condition. Yours aren't. HAH! Go ahead. Meow for mercy for all I care. Mercy you will have none. Not from me. I would so win hands and paws down. Neh neh nee boo boo.


Sleep on plain white or black tiles next time, can or not!?

The Name Of The Game

...is Tinki Talks.

Grrr.

Why that growl, you ask?
Hmmph. Here's why.


I was browsing through Friendster and I happened to notice that an acquaintance recently received new comments... or was it that he just uploaded a new picture? Hmmm. I can't remember. Whatever the case, I noticed my name on his latest blog post!




What could I have posted that he could say
he "noticed something attractive"?

Curious, I clicked on it la, right?


*click on image to enlarge*


Look at that la. Atrocious!
The lousy bugger actually had the nerve
to quote AND MISSPELL Tinki Talks!




It's called Tinki Talks. TinkI Talks.
TinkI Talks. Tink-I talks, okayyy.

Hmmph!

*stomps away*

Twin Towers

Our two nights together were wonderful. Thank you for being there to look out for me. Twin beacons to watch over me. There to accompany me in the dark and still of the night.



I'm gonna miss you.

I've Got Sunshine!

*smile*



Sunshine left tiny drops of herself on my bedroom door last night.


------------


To love and be loved is to feel
the sun from both sides.
– David Viscott

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Ask And You Shall Receive

I asked, therefore, I received.
Tada! Simple as that.

Jeng jeng jeng.
Yes, jeng jeng jeng indeed.

Haha.


Lai la! Wa bo kia!!!
(English Translation: Come la! I not sket!!!)


*blink blink*

Okay, okay. I sket a bit. HAHA.

*grin*

A bit only. Shhh.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Operasi Train Jantan: Part 4

Yes, it's back.


Haha. And after a very "productive" weekend out with yours truly, dear Featured Spaz decided to hop onto the bandwagon and giddy up with the rest of us. And with that, Operasi Train Jantan takes in another self-sacrificing social worker. Read Operasi Train Jantan: Part 3 here.


So here's today's lesson:

A real woman who's ready for COMMITMENT
(yes, bigfatscary word to some men out there, I know)
will want a man with a plan.


What plan?


Well, not so much a plan, I guess. It's more like having at least a general idea and some part of his methodology down pat, to get to some specified destination and to arrive at it in a predetermined span of time.


You can't possibly expect a woman to see a future with you if you don't paint that picture for her in the first place. Much as love is a feeling, an emotion, a decision and a choice (all intangibles), we need some form of tangibility in the future. You need to offer her security. And yes, I've written on S.E.C.U.R.I.T.Y before so I won't dive into it. (Just bear in mind it's not just material security I'm referring to.) All I'm saying is that we've got the eyes. But it's YOU who hold the brushes this time (and the paint). You see, it's weird. It doesn't take a genius to know that (most) women dream of their wedding day, husband-to-be and family-to-come waaaay before they even hit puberty. No added explanation needed there, right?


Okay.


But when it comes to falling in love, they reject all ideas that they had in order to avoid disappointment. We've grown to believe in the If-you-fail-to-expect-you-succeed-to-avoid-disappointment Theory because, believe me, we do all we can to protect our hearts. Anything it takes, dudes. Anything. A woman's heart is fragile. Perhaps it's because we're comparatively more emotional beings. Perhaps it's cos we're just wired differently. Perhaps (just perhaps) it's because we were brought up that way. I don't know. Whatever it is, don't ever mess with a woman's heart.


*blink blink*

I've lost my train of thought. Dang.


Anyhew, as much as one rejects the idea, what happens when couples part ways is that (generally speaking) if the guy walks away, the woman gets terribly heartbroken – the shattered into a million-gazillion-pieces kind of heartbroken. But if the woman walks away, the guy usually gets a huge ego blow... and that's it. Very different effects that the dump-ee, huh.


Of course, there are guys who get heartbroken, too laaa. I'm not saying that there aren't. Take all this with a pinch of salt, okay. I'm GENERALIZING. Don't come and cari pasal with me about this. I will sakai you kau kau.


So what is it a man has to do?


Dream big dreams. Set goals.
Attainable ones, of course.
Just don't think like an airhead
and (hopefully) you won't end up with one.


I think I should stress, though, that it's not pretty pictures we want you to paint. Don't promise us the world and a million servants to wait on us hand and foot after marriage if you can't deliver. It creates expectation. And as we all know, Unmet expectation = Disappointment. Remember that. Promise her only what you can and will give and do. Empty promises kill whatever you seek to establish over the time you've shared. It disintegrates everything you've fought for and accomplished. It changes everything into nothing. Never ever make a promise you can't keep.


So tell her the truth. Let the choice be hers to make. Let her decide on her own that what you're offering is enough. And trust me, guys, if she really loves you like she says she does and you think she does, whatever you can offer will be enough for her. More than enough.


Love her rightly when she tests you,
and a woman in love will never fail YOUR love test.

Extend your hand after you've won her over
and she'll extend hers without a second thought.


Till next time, this is Tinki on Operasi Train Jantan. Adios!

Monday, April 16, 2007

It's Not The Destination...

...it's the journey.




Always look up toward the sky. You may not always see it but whatever makes it through the trees and peeks through the leaves are a whole lot prettier than if there were no trees to begin with. Now, that's my favourite part of the journey.

Hongkee Tonk

Everyone's connected to everybody else these days. In theory, at least. So much so that it becomes scary sometimes. And with the Internet, the 6-Person Rule probably no longer applies like it used to. Maybe it should be called the 3-Person Rule nowadays or something.


I've got friends I know from different social circles in Malaysia who head to Australia to study, who suddenly find themselves realising that they both know me. Small world. I had this friend who linked me to another friend with the intention of me getting that friend attached to a church in my hometown, only to find that I know the said individual's sister (who shares my name, by the way) from a separate social circle in another state! Again, small world.


Scary, huh?


Well, I checked out my Recent Visitor Information online and found that only half my readers are from Malaysia. Whoa. The rest seem to be spotting the world map at random. Look.



Based on the numbers I see and the locations that have been listed, I realise that I only can attest to knowing people from Malaysia (duh), Australia, Singapore, the United States (of America, I'm assuming. No other United States around, right?), Canada, and maybe a pathetic handful from the United Kingdom. As for the rest, WHO ARE YOU!?


I have readers from Spain and Hong Kong!?

Cools!

Ahem ahem. And once again,
Tinki Talks takes another bold step
into the international arena. Haha.


Well, since I can't say I know Spanish, "El Zorro" and "Aserejé" (the title of Las Ketchup's hit single "The Ketchup Song") aside, I'll dedicate the rest of this post to my anonymous Hongkee readers.


This is for you.


-----------


Eh! Lei tei tok ngor geh blogsi geh ah?
(English Translation: Eh, you all read my blog wan ah?)

Kam hou geh! Aiyo, ngo zhung um chi wor. Haha.
(English Translation: So good wan! Aiyo, I still didn't know wor. Haha.)

Hou la, hou la. Kei tak yat yat tuk ah.
(English Translation: Good la, good la. Remember every day read ah.)

Kam zau gwai la.
(English Translation: Like that then considered good la.)


-----------


Phew. That took a lot outta me. Bedtime.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Visit Singapore '07

Visit Singapore? Rubbish!
Who says I have to go to Singapore? Pfft.
Singapore comes to ME. Wahahaha.

*eyes glance right*

Stop thinking I'm lansi and just check out Tinki Talks' sidebar.
See or not? New blog ad! Singaporean hotel summore. Terror.

And with this latest addition to the page,
Tinki Talks officially goes international.

*grin*

Thank you, thank you.

*bows*


I have to admit that when I first saw the ad, I didn't realise it was a Singaporean hotel, though. Thought it was some low budget hotel from Ipoh. Haha. Mana tau, Singapore mari punya. They refer to themselves as the "ideal home away from home" for travellers (don't they all say that?) so Malaysians and friends from other parts of the world, jump on a jet and head their way. You will fit right in.


*snicker*

What if we don't want to fit in? Haha.


What's the point of going for a holiday when you don't get to feeeeel like you're on a holiday some place else!? Who in their right mind (after spending good money and valuable travel time) would want to feel right at home in a foreign land!? Hello, I stamped my passport for a reason and with a purpose, okay! Gimmie foreign! Gimmie alien! Gimmie different!


*blink blink*

I think I'm getting carried away.

I shall write nice things about the hotel
from this moment forth.


Anyway, Perak Hotel looks quite cool, actually. A nice mix between modern living and traditional architecture (a bit la). Plus, the location is awesome if you intend to do some touristy sightseeing in Singapore. Many local attractions are within walking distance (so they say) from the hotel so it's very, very convenient. Taxi also not cheap if you're converting from Ringgit Malaysia, right? Sad case. Hence, it shall be very wise of you to find a place that opens up the possibility of walking to your tourist destinations. Tada! Perfection.


*frowns*

Dang, now I wanna go, too.


Eh, Perak Hotel! Gimmie free stay can ah? 3 days, two nights also can la. You give, then I guarantee go visit Singapore wan. Gua-lan-tee ah! For none other but you. See? What and honour that is! Plus, I won't let your kind deed (a.k.a investment in my stay) go to waste. No, no. Business is business, right? I understand that concept well. Worry not. I'll be sure to take plenty of pictures and post them here. I'll even throw in some good words. Deal bo?


I linked you guys TWICE, okay.
I've taken the first (two) step(s).
Now it's your turn. 3 days, 2 nights for me?

*grin*

Can laaa.


---------------


I'll let you guys know if Perak Hotel gets in touch with me.

And oh, look at that! A THIRD link. This had better work, man.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Operasi Train Jantan: Part 2

Operasi Train Jantan: Part 1 seemed to have ruffled a few feathers. *cough* A few male feathers. Heh. Well, I'm here to do more ruffling. Disorderly is cool. The messy look is very in. =p


Today's lesson begins with this simple 14-word statement:

A good girl will never (Italic, Bold, Underline summore)
fall for a man who isn't giving his all when he pursues her.

*cough*

And trust me, girls KNOW when you guys aren't giving your all.

*cough cough*


And with that, Operasi Train Jantan continues...


You see, a woman will never place her heart in your hands unless she is sure that you've handed yours over to her. And I'm not talking just one part of your heart, here. That doesn't count. In fact, it counts for NOTHING. It's all from you right from the start or to her, you're offering her nothing at all.


Why risk it, you ask? Well, simply because if you give her ALL of your heart, she may give you something in return – her heart. And I know, I know. It's a big risk to take. It puts you in a position to get hurt and, as we all know, getting hurt is no fun at all. Granted.


But isn't loving already a risk in itself? So if you put it this way, by risking nothing, you opt for the bigger risk of getting nothing (no one, in this case) and losing the woman of your dreams to another man who's willing to risk it all for her! Putting your heart on the line, although somewhat unfair to you, is highly necessary.


But, uh, unfortunately for you men out there, even then, I'm sorry to say that, it's no guarantee that you'll snag her. All it does is push your chances a little higher as compared to if you offer the lady you've set your sights upon anything less than your all. See, that's better than nothing, right? Haha.


Don't give your all, get nothing in return.
All or nothing. So simple. Comprende?

With that I conclude today's lesson.
Stay tuned for more updates.

The Headless Lonely



Like so sad liddat, right? Sigh.




Don't ask why but I just feel terribly sorry for her. Sigh. My heart goes out to the Headless Maiden that stands alone on those cold, metal, stilt-like stands. How could the store owners just leave her out there all by herself?


*frowns*

Pencil sharpeners have more feelings
than you heartless barbarians, okayyy!

*mutters under breath*

A Bit The Sua Ku


Center = Offed and uninteresting.




To the right = Subtle glow and with little illumination,
but manages to set a relatively romantic atmosphere.




To the left = Bright and blinding.


*big big grin*


Quite cool, right!? Haha. I sangat suka. Geli hati betul bila I tengok. Teknologi terkini betul betul bes. Satu suis boleh tukar tukar banyak jenis lampu. Terror-nye!


*blink blink*

Ya, I know. I a bit sua ku sometimes. A bit only.

*grin*

Eh, I heard that it can be endearing, okayyy.

Today's Featured Spaz

Saw some really cool, relatively affordable lights today.
Unfortunately, someone else, uh, wasn't quite as cool.

*snicker*


------------


SCENARIO: The group reached the bin full of DINGE (that's what they're called) lights. Spaz leaned over and reached out to flick the switch. To test the lights out or something. Or perhaps it's just a case of itchy fingers on her part. I don't know for sure. But whatever the reason, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. *cough* She wanted to see how bright RM19.90 would be. *cough cough*


*tries switch a few times*




Tick tiak tick tiak.

Light stays off.

With a frown, she asks, "Eh, why cannot on wan?"




Go figure.

And she's said to have scored 12A1s, okayyy.
Sigh. What is the world coming to?

*shakes head*


------------

Friday, April 13, 2007

Jangan Membazir

Some people ah...




Haiyo, really teruk wan.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Coming Soon To CINEMAS Near You

To whom it may concern,




Ahem, ahem. Yes, that's KL.
Need I say more?

*grin*

Easy-Peasy-Lemon-Squeezy

It doesn't take a lot.




See? Women are soooo easy to please.


We don't need poetry, we don't need songs and we don't need novels to our name. (Note: I said we don't need. We just wish we could have all that, that's all. Heh.) Our men don't even need to be supremely verbally or artistically gifted when it comes to these things, really. No need for flowery words, fancy text, glitter glue and coloured paper. We're not as demanding as you think we are. As you can see, we understand Peter-and-Jane talk perfectly! It's even possible to get an "awww" out of your woman. Just like that!


Pleasing your lady isn't that complicated a procedure, guys. Our conditions are simple – as long as it comes straight from the heart (sincerity) and you're saying it with all you've got (effort). Easy.


Quite the lemon-squeezy, no?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Operasi Train Jantan

I've got this friend. We don't exactly get to meet up as often as we'd like but when we do, we talk. What about? Heh. Boys.


Tada!

Yes, we're girlie girls, alright.
And proud to be.

*snicker*

Whoops, sorry.
That was meant to come out as a giggle.

*giggles with hand over mouth*


Yup, we talk about boys. Actually, we'd rather we called them "Men" but only an insignificant number fit the said title so we kinda decided to ditch that altogether. No point adding a word to the dictionary when it's not something we'd use. Heh.


So, yeah. After our last secret General Meeting at our well-hidden Headquarters located somewhere in the middle of town, it was decided that the time has come to officially kick off Operasi Train Jantan. You know, before the performance of men of the world in romance, love and relationship start deteriorating to the point of being totally useless to us, women.


If you wanna know how a perfect gentleman treats his woman, one character has the art down pat is Matthew Perry's character in F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Mr Chandler Bing. An odd example to quote considering he's more popularly known as the resident smarty-pants of the sitcom, huh? Well, that part of his character aside, me-oh-my, the man does the "love thang" to perfection. Sigh. Go watch the parts after commitment-phobic Bing becomes the responsible, loving, affectionate lover to Monica Geller.




Men, you will learn much.

So there it is.

With that, I officially launch
Operasi Train Jantan.

Please clap. It's only polite to do so. Thank you.


And before I take my leave, FYI, we do talk about other more "intelligent" stuff like global warming, recycling and world peace but this proved most memorable and post-worthy. So there.

"The Power, It's In Your Hands"

Okay, fine. I stole that line.
I admit. Are ya happy now?!


But before you shamelessly judge me and point your dirty fingers my way, stop your desperate act of self-righteousness and just take a minute to look at how appropriate it is for this post!




Tinki Talks on the go!


Quite the coolness, no? You can read and even add comments right from your mobile phone. Even the pictures are loaded, man! Terror-menerror. Of course, there are other pages you can view from your mobile la, but... why'd anybody ever wanna read anything other than Tinki Talks, right? *snicker* Ahh, modern technology is working out so well for me. Now you see why I say that the slogan's so ngam?


Wee hee hee! See, now I'm happy, too!

Monday, April 09, 2007

Don't Mess With Us

Got this in an email and thought it rocked. Enjoy.


----------


NOTE: The following story has been edited in accordance to
Tinki's grammatical whims and fancies.



A woman is set to fly to Italy for a 2-week company training session. Her husband sends her to the airport and says, "Have a good trip," as he drops her off. The wife answers, "Thank you, honey. Is there anything you'd want from Italy?" The husband laughs and says, "An Italian girl!!!"

The woman kept quiet and left without a word.

Two weeks later he picks her up from the airport and asks, "So, honey, how was the trip?" She replies: "Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?" asked the husband. "Which present?" she asked. "The one I asked for – an Italian girl!" says the hubby. "Oh, that," she said. "Well, I did what I could. Now all we'll have to do is we have to wait for few months to see if it's a girl."


Moral of the story:
Don't ever test a woman.
She is dangerously intelligent.




----------


Come on, girls, show me your girl powweeeeerrr!

*snicker*

Sorry. Lame, I know. Inside joke. Laugh not.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Movie Night In

RULE OF THUMB WHEN CHOOSING A MOVIE:

When you can't find a good movie to laugh yourself silly,
find something that is sure to scare yourself shitless.


Tonight will be scare-myself-shitless night.


Will let you know how it goes.


----------


LIVE UPDATE at 2316 hours: Wow. I think I've grown up. Scary movies don't haunt me no more. Heh. At least this one didn't. Wee hee hee. Take that, stupid Billy! *stab stab stab*

Mr Lo-man-tik, Simply Fan-tas-tik

Why is it that some men are more romantic than others?


I think the line separating the romantic from the less romantic is pretty clear these days. Girls tend to suss out the two pretty quickly. Maybe we've watched enough romance flicks to know (before it's too late). Or maybe men are just more direct these days. The whole time-is-money deal even translates into speedier dating styles. No more beating around the bush. No more year-long courting rituals. If it's takes too long, it's not worth the investment. Heh.


But that's besides the point.


I'm focusing on the men women want to date. No, wait. I can't say that. All women want to date romantic men. (Don't lie to me or kid yourself, gurl, you know you want a Mr Romantic. If you say you don't, it's cos you don't have a Mr Romantic by your side.) No, no. I'm focusing on the men women want to date.


I believe that those who need (the I-would-die-without kind) a romantic partner would hardly waste their time of day dating one who isn't up to their standards when it comes to the Romance Scale. And, well, girls who place more importance on the other aspects of their men (e.g. wealth, looks, true love etc.) would date the less romantic with the other "bonuses" in mind at all times.


But what is it that brings out the romantic spark in men?


Is it attributed to the mouldings of the society they grew up in? Or is it thanks to movies they grew up watching? Or could it be that they were raised by mothers who enjoyed being romanced, who told them that other women would equally be as delirious at the prospect of being romanced by a man? Or can it be that it's as simple as biology, because they are the produce of romantic (or less romantic) men's best swimmers?


I'm not getting anywhere with this.


Solo thinking on my part doesn't exactly help when what I really need is male insight to the matter. I need me one of those men friends who are very much in tune with their feminine side. You know? Those who are still real men, but are acutely aware of the needs and wants of a woman and, of course, the needs and wants of their own.


Some say that romance dies after a period of dating. Some say it shouldn't. I heartily agree with the latter. Why should it? Don't people fall more and more in love with each other, with every day that they share together? Doesn't that translate into more romance in the end? I feel sorry for those who believe in the death of romance in longterm relationships. They either don't receive the outflow of love that their partners direct to them, or their partners don't love them as much as they think their partners do.


Okay, sure. Perhaps the means of showing love changes over time. Perhaps time is now a factor with work, babies, other responsibilities, and keeping house. With such a change in the couple's environment, I can understand that being romantic on a daily basis becomes a little more demanding and perhaps a little more tiring. I'll give you that. And only that.


Is leaving a sweet note, a peck on the cheek or saying "I love you" every once in awhile really that difficult? I doubt that we, women, expect much more than that on a daily basis after awhile anyways. Yeah, we may expect a little more on certain days but on a whole, it's the little every day things that count the most when you're in a committed relationship, right?


It's not like we're asking to ride along the Grand Canal of Venice or stand atop the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it wouldn't be nice to be there and see it for myself. Pictures tell me that the Eiffel Tower does look exceptionally pretty at night. It's said to be breathtaking. But what if what I want is more than an old structure to take my breath away? What if what I want is a man who'd be willing to work at taking my breath away every single day of his life? Heck, I wouldn't even need that Eiffel Tower, for crying out loud!




Really though. Realistically speaking, if I were to have to choose between flying there with a partner and not hold hands or say "I love you", I'd rather not be there at all. Take comfort in old architecture and not feel deeply loved in the romance capital of the world – the City of Light? No, thank you.


I am one who would very much rather be in the company of a partner who'd sit by my side right in my very own living room. A partner who'd have a blast carving a miniature Eiffel Tower together with me and enjoy every second of it.




Who says pumpkin art cannot be a romantic activity?

Sigh. I don't know.

Maybe some men just aren't cut out for this romantic thingamajig.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Kemek

Hee hee.




Being at the wrong place (plastered on an electric gate) at the wrong time (when the gate is closing), is a surefire death wish. It's practically foolproof! Haha. Literally. It takes a damned fool to get killed this way.


*blink blink*


Uh, ...unless you're Mr Lizard here, of course.

Heh.


Moral of today's post:
Stay away from electric gates.


------------


DISCLAIMER: No lizards were harmed in the creation of this post.
Mr Lizard was already dead upon the author's arrival on the scene.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Stressing Solo

Aaarrrggghhhh!

Stress!

*sniffle*


I just wanna cry. Right now, I feel like a headless chicken running around madly without any inkling of the direction I'm furiously heading towards (at lightning speed, mind you). Sigh.




Being alone when you're stressed as all hell
is so not conducive for any situation.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The Painted Veil

I watched one of the most heartbreaking films today. It's called The Painted Veil. Based on a novel by W. Somerset Maugham, director John Curran brought this timeless love story to life. Set in the outskirts of Southern China, the set is most certainly beautiful and pleasing to the eye (if you can stomach the dead corpses that pop up throughout the movie). It's been noticed by them award givers, too!

  • Winner of 10 Best Films (National Board Review)
  • Winner of Best Adapted Screenplay: Ron Nyswaner (National Board Review)
  • Best Male Lead Nominee: Edward Norton (Independent Spirit Awards)
  • Best Screenplay Nominee (Independent Spirit Awards)

Not bad, huh?


The plot starts off a little slowly but by the time the love story within starts blooming, just when you find yourself being drawn into the lives of its characters, it ends. It ends so abruptly that my mind still lingers on it. My mind is haunted by the echo of its sad romance.


The story revolves around the lives of a man and a woman – a married couple. Their marriage is far from perfect. There are, by far, more downs than there are ups, more pain than there is joy and happiness. Sigh. It's a strange sort of love story between two very different people, one of whom loves the other and one of whom eventually learns and grows to love the other. A love story that speaks about love gained, love mishandled, love renewed and love lost... in that very order. Sigh.


It plagues my mind and infects my thoughts with so many questions I have not answers to. So many Why's. Too many Why's.


Why is it that we only learn to love with all we've got when we go through difficult times together? Why is it that we break the hearts of those who love us dearly for the sake of others whose measure of love doesn't even come close? Why is it that when we have those who love us more than life itself, we fail to love them in return until that life is taken from them? Why can we not show the people we love how much we love them? Why do we not tell them that we love them although we feel it so strongly deep inside? Why do we always wait until it's too late to show how much we really care? Why?


"Sometimes the greatest journey
is the distance between two people."
– The Painted Veil


I couldn't agree more. You see, I've always thought that distance between two people who love each other was unbearable torture. I still do. Long distance relationships are far from fun. Not everyday's a happy-happy-joy-joy day when you can't physically be with the one you love. Plus, it's a lot more work than I-see-you-you-see-me relationships. It takes a lot of effort, it takes a lot of understanding, it takes a lot of time, and it takes a lot of faith and trust.


But when put into perspective, physical distance is nothing compared to emotional distance. You can love and continue being in love with physical distance. But it's impossible to do the same when emotional distance comes into play. The former brings pain. Sure, it does. But the latter brings even more pain, especially when only one party sets up barriers distancing them from the other and consciously creates that emotional distance. Yes, indeed. Sometimes the greatest journey is the distance between two people.




-----------


Love before it's too late; live before it's too late.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

The Virgin Click

The very first picture from the very new toy.


The unadulterated virgin photograph,
untouched by filthy Photoshop hands.


The first of many to come.


p/s: I know la, a bit underexposed.
Night time di ma. Give face a bit can bo?

Monday, April 02, 2007

Jesus People

Everybody has favourite kopitiams they frequent, don't they? Well, I'm no different. Worse, I always order the same food from the same stall and the same drink from the same uncle. Heh. It's been that way for the better half of the last decade... maybe more! It's been so long that I can't remember when my family actually discovered the place. Haha.


So the question of the day is this... What happens when one frequents a kopitiam as often as my family and I do? Easy. The aunties and uncles tell you your order before you even open your mouth cos you've probably ordered it for the millionth time, and they start giving you really weird nicknames cos it makes talking about you amongst themselves a whole lot easier. That's what.


Listen to this. We paid Aunty 1 for our drinks and while we were on our way out, we heard Aunty 2 ask the funniest serious question. (Hmmm. Looks like I'm all for oxymorons today.) And mind you, she asked it with a straight face.


Eh, Ia Soh eh lang hor lui liao ah boay?
(English Translation: Eh, Jesus people give money already or not?)


Whoa.


So, yeah. Turns out my family and I are known as the "Ia Soh eh lang". Haha. Terror-ness. You see, the only time we show up is on Sunday morning. EVERY Sunday morning – give or take a Sunday or two when we're out of town or are already running late and need to rush off to where we're headed – church.


And with that, superficial things like baju becomes a defining factor. Whilst most of their other customers appear in shorts and sweaty T-shirts (probably straight from a morning jog), we're one of the very few who're decked in our Sunday best. Haha. Okay la. Not that best la. But cukup best. Asalkan pakai jeans dah kira best. =)


Heh. Jesus People. It's really funny when you think about it. Trust them to come up with something so simple yet so unbelievably appealing (to me, at least). Jesus People! Yeah!


I think that the name gives me a feigned sense of possessing some sort of divine aura when I walk in and out of the shop. You know? Almost like walking around with a halo miraculously hovering over my head and wings sticking out from behind my back. Put on your sunglasses, sit back, relax and watch as I glow and radiate, People of the Shorts and Sweaty T-Shirts!


Haha. Funny.

Call us People. Jesus People.

Waaa. Does it make us sound cool or what!?


*blink blink*


But heck, that nickname comes hand-in-hand with a whole lot more responsibility than what 11 letters should ever warrant. Siao siao. Dun play play ah. I sket.


*gulp*

I Want You

When you're tired, bored and lonely, blog. It helps. And if you're anything like me, blog about anything remotely baby related – a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g! Sounds relatively simple but it does wonders for the baby-crazed soul. Heh.


So, what I did was I went on a hunt. And after some page flippin' and some online clickin', I found just the thing I was looking for. Haha. Bye bye, Monday blues... and it's a great big "Hello!" to blue skies! (Yeah, yeah, I know. It's past seven already. Pfft. Spoilsports. Who cares? Your blog or my blog now? I'm gettin' my blue skies even if it's already dark outside.)


*takes deep breath*


Tada!




My miracle cure.
Wee hee hee. Fa la la.


*blink blink*


Okay, wait.
Just hold on there.


*blink blink*


This is backfiring. I feel it already. Die.
My baby blues are creeping in! Nooooo!

I Can't Think Right Now

I don't feel too good. My head's spinning, I feel like vomiting my guts out and the floor is swimming at my feet. Ugh. I blame my sleepless night. It's all its fault. Sigh.


-----------


And on a separate note altogether...

  • I wanna go back.
  • I wanna feel pride in what I do again.
  • I wanna feel like I'm useful... and that I'm not just some kind of stand in for a part that's not even mine to begin with.
  • I want ownership of my job.
  • I want my friends back.
  • I want my life back.

Midnight Irritation

What could possibly irritate me to the point
of blogging at 4 in the morning?

The knowledge that I've got an early morning,
a long hard day ahead, it's already 4am...

...and I'm still awake.

Sigh. Si liao la.


This habitual sleeplessness is definitely not good for me. Sleep so needs to come now or by tomorrow, I'll be walking and bouncing to the tunes of the dead march. And honestly, I don't know if I'll even be able to walk in a straight line. Experience tells me that perfect balance bids me bye-bye when I'm faced with a lack of sleep.


Sigh.


I need to stop thinking, turn off my ever-firing neurons, and get some good solid rest. Sounds like a good plan, no? Good plan indeed, save for one problem...


I need the rest, but I'm so not getting it.

Sigh.

How do I force myself to relax enough to fall asleep?

Heh.

FORCING one's self to RELAX
– how oddly ironic and oxymoronic.

Whatever.

Any suggestions, guys? I could certainly do with the help.