I no longer like birthdays.
There. I said it.
Not cos I'm getting older and getting older always sucks if you're a girl, but simply because birthdays have just lost their celebratory birthday-ness for me over the last few years. Depress-emo, much? Yeah. Some. I wasn't always like this though. 2006 was a good birthday year for me. So was 2008. I partied like a rockstar and felt like a million bucks those two years. =p
But other than that... growing older has just been blah, blah and more blah for me. The ultimate worst birthday of my life was the birthday of 2010. No other birthday can fight. 2011 wasn't all that bad considering The Husband whisked me off to Genting for a couple of days and brought me horseback riding, which I enjoyed. (I have yet to blog about that getaway. Whoops. -_-) But I think in general, it's just been downhill for me and birthdays since I crossed that blasted mid-twenties line.
So, here I am again.
Sitting on the verge
of the 21st of November.
I turn 28 in a few hours. Not a bad age to be at, if you were to ask me at any other time of the year. But not tonight. Cos tonight, I'm really starting to feel that familiar tinge of disappointment and self-pity set in. The kind which ultimately brings with it a tidal wave of emo-ness and depressive-ness that will drown me in sorrow till the 22nd comes around. Sigh.
You know, I wish I was spending my 28th birthday down in KL. Alternatively, I wish my close friends were up here in Penang where I'm at. But mostly, I wish The Husband was with me tonight. Instead, I'm in Penang without any close friends around, and it looks to me like I'm gonna be spending The Crossover alone. Again. How wonderful. Ugh. -_-'''
I think the supremely lousy way I feel tonight is compounded by the fact that I've not gotten a good night's sleep in a long, long time. That, and cos I've not been as mobile as I want to be or am used to being. I hate the fact that I'm unable to drive right now. Cos if I could, I would at least be going somewhere, doing something to cheer myself up. Even watching a movie alone at a mall would suffice at this point.
Back in 2010, I swore I wouldn't let myself feel that pathetically depressed on a birthday ever again. But this year, it looks like I've got no choice but to allow this particular birthday to uneventfully run its course. Heck, I can't even go out for a walk around the block alone to feel better, what with Malaysia being so unsafe and all! ARGH!! I just can't win, can I?
Whatever lah. 3 more hours till midnight.
I've still got time to be a sulky 27-year-old.
Catch you guys on the other side. Ciao.