Tuesday, October 04, 2011

"That Look"

You know how single ladies tend to have "peak periods" of male interest at some point or another in their lifetimes? (It's like a cycle in her life when she's suddenly the hottest chick on the block to every raging male in her side of town. =p) Well, it's been awhile since I've felt like I was... "peaking", you know? Awhile since I've been treated like a lady in chivalrous ways, awhile since I've had the gaze of adoring eyes fall upon me, and looong while since I've been on the receiving end of... *ahem ahem* ..."that look".

"Just once I wish someone would look at me the way my best friends' husbands look at them. I don’t want to BE with any of them, I just want that look. Just once. And I am scared it’s never going to happen for me."

– Anonymous via Secret Project on Brandy Is Magic

Only problem is – like Mrs Anonymous Wife up there – there is now only one legal source for "that look" for me. *snorts* And since that particular source of mine is like, in a land far far away from me 5 days a week (T_T) I've pretty much been running on a dried up love tank filled with dusty old looks of yesterdays past. Boo hoo. Not very ego-boosting when you think about it, I suppose. And definitely not very healthy in the long run.


But then again, I guess it's natural to feel insecure sometimes. Even when you're married to someone who's committed his life – his all – to you for better or for worse, in good times and through bad. But still, bad hair days, pimply skin, stretch marks – whatever your pain-in-the-butt insecurity is, it's there. Gnawing at your self-worth and chipping away at your self-esteem, day in and day out. Standing in the way of you feeling appreciated, admired and adored by the people around you; that special someone included.


Sigh.

I miss "that look"; I want it back.

11 comments :

Lissa said...

I get "that look" from Reuby whenever he comes around. Other times, I just don't notice.

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Lissa
– Awww... so nice! <3

Lissa said...

:)

infinitium said...

In PG, you can always get adoring looks easily... just head over to Bukit Jambul Complex on the weekends.

Lots of "international travelers" there milling about - adoring stares aplenty! :)

Zhen Ying said...

You would only want that look for the special person. I'm in the same boat as you babe. Linus and I are now in a LDR. *sigh....*

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Lissa
– Lucky you. =)


ATTN: infinitium
– EH! Dun be such a boy can or not? You misread "that look" already laaaa... I'm not talking about the sleezy Bukit Jambul looks okayyy. Haha. People referring to respectable, adoring looks! Ish!

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Zhen Ying
- Haih... You also, eh? Sien ah... Sien like hell. At least you got to know each other closely for a year or two before you guys go long distance. For us... I lost count of how many years already. :-/

Zhen Ying said...

Well, you both got to know each other for a very long time even before the relationship started. At least you kinda knew what he was and who he was as a friend.

We just started the LDR after he decided Aus is not for him. Its only be less than 3 months and I'm already sien of it. You pulak, sudah kahwin masih LDR. Dia pi mana? KL? If that's the case, then buat apa dia suruh kamu balik ke PG? ^__^"

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Zhen Ying
– Haha. Not really. We were enemies before we started dating, remember? =p

And yeah. I also sien of it. But what to do? No choice. Sigh. He's in KL. And yeah, I also dunno why he make me quit my job and come back to Penang. T_T

Lissa said...

Come back to KL! :D

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Lissa
– Oh trust me, if I could, I would!

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