Thursday, August 07, 2008

Makan Vege Boleh Gemuk

Skinny Fart... (She's damn skinny. Serious. Probably half my weight.) ...enters The Cu•bi•cle, sees my face plastered to my comp screen (think: 2cm away), turns to Ah Beng, and says:


Skinny Fart: Why is she doing that?!

Ah Beng: *turns to look at me* She doesn't want you to see that she's Facebook-ing.

Pam Song: -_- My contact lenses are playing up lah. Cannot see properly.

Skinny Fart: I saw what she was doing. Her head's too small to block her comp screen. Haha.

Ah Beng: *GASP!* You're implying that she lost weight.

Skinny Fart: @_@ How the heck did you come up with that?!

Ah Beng: You said that her head was small. Ergo, you're saying that she is thin or that she'd lost weight.

Skinny Fart: Eh, no, no. I know how that feels like.

Pam Song: *turns to Skinny Fart* Let's put on weight. TOGETHER!

Skinny Fart: Okay! Okay! I heard people say that we should eat vegetables.

Pam Song: WHAT!? But that helps you shit!!! If everything's going to come out, then eat for what?


Apa mia logik ini? Ish.


---------


We need help, people!


Please step up and offer us quick-fix suggestions to gaining weight in the least amount of time. Thank you very much for your kind cooperation. A fat Pam makes for a happy blog. =)

26 comments :

zecount said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
luxen said...

the last time I heard someone use the word ergo was in the movie The Matrix when the Architect was trying to explain how it all works to Keanu Reeves.

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Zecount
– Haha. Realised you made a mistake there, didn't ya? =p


ATTN: luxen
– Haha. Ah Beng's that way. Sungei Wang on the outside, Banana on the inside. =p

RealGunners said...

Pringles is a good way to pile up weight, me being the prime example :'(

amb3r1te said...

try cod liver oil. ure already taking ensure and thats supposed to work too =p

Pam Song said...

ATTN: RealGunners
– Ooo! I used to think that they worked. But they didn't. =( At least not for me. I think the salt just made me lose more weight. -_-

Pam Song said...

ATTN: amb3r1te
– I've been slightly less than diligent when it comes to Ensure. -_-

I should buck up. It's time to pack on the pounds. Haha.

test said...

IF You really want to gain weight fast-try eating lotsa rice in your diet plus other standard Malaysian food (teh-tarik,roti canai, nasi lemak, char keow teoy, anything oily daily that dietician warn to stay away!~:P Spectre

Serene said...

hey...i do dietetics in uni..there are healthier ways to put on weight..
snack on nuts..include more full fat dairy in you diet...thicken the spread on your sandwich or bread if you have them..definately up your carbs too! haha..makan vege boleh gemuk if you eat more potatoes....they are a kind of vege...

choco said...

YOU. ARE. MAD.

because you wanna gain weight.

period.

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Spectre
– But I already eat a lot of rice! I always add wan! So how? =(


ATTN: Serene
– Whoa. Words from the pro! Okay, I listen. Haha. Nuts? Will do. Full fat diary? Already got. Carbs? Heaps. The potato diet? Tried it. Didn't work for me. -_-

Pam Song said...

ATTN: choco
– Haha. What can I say?

I. Am. Different. =p

Unknown said...

AHHH, this is a good comic relief opportunity!!! but wait for saturday, watch this space, heh!

zecount said...

tinki's body is already set that weight to default liao ...apa u put in also comes out in the end ...waste of money ..no point ... just come to terms with it lah

and yes i made a boo boo ..happy now -_-

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Chris
– GASP! What's coming??? Tell! Tell!

Pam Song said...

ATTN: zecount
– But I don't want that default weight!!! ROAR!

Haha. Yes. That boo boo. Tee hee. So hilarious I could cry.

zecount said...

easy... GET PREGNANT !! LOL

kill two birds with one stone somemore
u get fat and sumone have baby ...see ? see works out perfectly


sorry lah .. was reading too fast maklum time to work leh

Ninja said...

Iused to be a very skinny girl till i started taking the Appeton tablets for adults. I haven't stopped eating since :p

Pam Song said...

ATTN: zecount
– HAHA. I WANT TO!!! =p


ATTN: sabrina
– I'm going at it with Ensure. Haha. One super kau glass a day. It helps. A little. How much do those Appeton tablets cost?

Jeffro said...

woah.. all sorts of idea..
but LOL @Zecount!

getting pregnant! ahaha.. case closed! sure settle..

hmm.. if not, do what i did, go McD makan till got phobia.. that means, eating it twice a day for the whole week.. Sure weight ++

Unknown said...

Comic Relief Moment!...


Porky Tart…(Pfft, she’s a Big Mac. Seeriousss. Thrice me weight.)
…enters The Pu•bi•cle, sees me face plastered to me comp screen, turns to Ah Beng, and says:

Porky Tart: EEEyeer, she always do that ah?

Ah Beng: *turns to look at me* She doesn’t want you to see that she’s surfing porn.

Pam Song: (shy shy then said) Aiyah, me hormones are playing up lah. So abit horneee.

Porky Tart: I can’t she what she was doing actually. Her boobs too big blocking her comp screen leh. Haha.

Ah Beng: *GASP!* You're implying that she had a boob job.

Porky Tart: (at this time, chewing Ah Beng’s arm as if it’s a KFC chicken wing) How the heck did you come up with that?!, and if only your arm tasted like real KFC.

Ah Beng: You said her boob was enhanced. Ergo, you’re saying that she was not sexy.

Porky Tart: Eh, no, no. I know how that feels like. Erm, btw, can I have those cakes the money people just bought for me, erm, I mean for us?

Pam Song: *turns to Porky Tart* Let's all dressed sexay! TOGETHER!

Porky Tart: Okay! Okay! Burp! Let me get my aerobics spandex attire. Burp!

Pam Song: WHAT!? There’s no time for that now! (By this time, Tinki oredi decked out in a Dominatrix suit).

And so, the three of them made comments as they surf porn.

Pam Song: Wow, wat abs he got there! (Then whips Ah Beng)

Porky Tart: I wonder if it taste as good as my pork chop.

Ah Beng: *Drools*

THE END

Unknown said...

its Appleton, can find at the pharmacies.
They oso come in powdered formula, like Milo.

Cod oil or fish oil tablets is good oso.

Alternatively, try protein muscle building formula and start lifting light weights. When i was undergrad, there's this guy in the dorm who used to be skinny fart, but in 6months, he ballooned to quite a buff size through some gym n protein regiment. But then again, some ppl have high metabolism so the weight is maintained at skinny fart level, no matter how much they eat.

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Jeffro
– I want. But a bit hard. Haha. And I do eat fast food very often. It doesn't work for me. Boo hoo.


ATTN: Chris
– Wah. You're officially a very free man. OFFICIAL! Haha.

And my dad tried Appeton before. It didn't work. Hence... I shan't waste my time (and money) trying something that obviously doesn't work for my genes.

Cod oil possibly can. Have to try some day. =p I know cheese works okay for me. And Ensure, of course. Haha.

Unknown said...

I'm OFFICIALLY offended by your comment that I'm a very free man. OFFICIAL!, hee hee!

eewww, fast food, eewww. It only increases your bad cholesterol, not the good cholesterol. Fast food is like graffiti in the world of food cuisine. (not that i dislike fastfood, but hey, we have our days.)

SO u eat cheese cakes, cheese baked rice, cheese in bread, bread in cheese, cheddar cheese juz out of the fridge unwrapped, cheese flavoured cuppa, cheesy-rolls, cheese-flavored twisties, cheese-flavored Pringles, cheese-flavored Nachos... I'm gettin cheesy!

Pam Song said...

ATTN: Chris
– BLASPHEMY!!! What's wrong with fast food??? McDonald's is Ronald's gift to humankind!

You're gettin' cheesy? Eeyer... SMEGMA ALERT!!!

And you memang seem like quite free lor. Haha. It's a GOOD thing! You offended buat ape???

Unknown said...

You're silly. Curry IS the gift to mankind.

Aiyah, i'm not as "educated" as u r la, i dunno what is smegma, hahahaha, naughty girl!

Huummph, its your false asumption that i'm free, u hear that! false! U dont go assuming thingz here n there.

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