Thursday, October 25, 2007

It's A Guarantee

I realised something today. I wouldn't say it's something I've never known because on some subconscious level I must have known it, experienced it or talked about it at some time or another. So I'm putting it this way: it's just that it's something I've never realised and then consciously tried to remember before.


Today, I realised that
no matter what people say,
they always let you down.

People. Will. Let. You. Down.


Even if they say they won't, and even if they themselves believe that they won't. No matter how close you both seem to be and no matter how much you both think you care about each other, it happens. If not today, then someday. They'll let you down eventually. That's the one thing in life you can count on. It sounds like I'm jaded and badly gutted but I've already been deadened to the pains that come along with this realisation and I'm ready to face it.


People will let ME down.

And they have.


So, do we – those who have been let-down – just take it as it comes? Pick ourselves up, nurse our wounds and pretend that nothing's amiss? That nothing's happened? That nothing's wrong with anything at all? What does one do in the event that one experiences a let-down? And what does one do if that let-down is dispensed by a member of the close-to-heart? What does a let-down by a significant person really mean in the big picture? And what does it show at the microlevel? Essentially, does a broken heart represent a broken relationship, too?


Too many questions with no answers.

I have the answer if you don't ask any questions.


What you do is this: you count on nobody. Cos if that's what you do, you'll never end up disappointed with anybody.

12 comments :

Anonymous said...

we get disappointed when our expectations were not met. Sometimes it is our own fault, as we expect the other person to "perform" as how we want to but they didn't do it. Not because they didn't want to do it, but they did not know our expectation.

Maybe you wont feel that bad if you see it in that view.

Nick Chan said...

I don't know about that, Pam...sounds like a pretty sad way to go through life...

I do agree that the most part of your post is true, in that people will definitely disappoint us. Im sure all of us have countless stories and analogies to support that argument.

But then again, most of us just see it from the 'victim' point of view... I also realize that i as a person have also disappointed others in my life. What happens then when we are the one's who victimize? Do we then beat ourselves up and tell others not to depend on us? Not really...most of the time, we ask for a second chance to be depended on. I guess if we could see it from that way, we would then be more forgiving of others when the tables are turned.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that if you are wanting to go through life thinking that you do not need anyone and that others dont need you (or worse, that only others need u), then I think u are setting yourself up to be disappointed by yourself. So how? don't depend on others and dont depend on yourself? then wat? (Don't give me sunday school answer ok...haha)

I don't know about you, but i guess ive come to a place where i just choose to believe better of people. And I do agree that bcoz of that, I do open myself to get disappointed and used (and believe me I do wonder sometimes whether its worth it), but hey, it also has opened so many other doors to so many meaningful friendships and treasured memories.

I guess, the law of the seed applies here...Our life and who we are as a person are the seeds that we must be sowing. It is inevitable that many seeds will fall away and die...In fact, the number of grounds that yield no fruit easily outnumber the the scarce good ground. Do we then hold back the seed just because we cant sow it all on good ground? But it takes just one seed, falling at the right place and time to bring forth fruit, and much fruit...And so I say, don't let your sowing be determined by the seeds that are lost, for you will never know what those few seeds not lost can yield...Because of that, I choose to scatter away..wee!!haha...After all, isn't it promised that in the measure that u sow, it will be measured back unto you?

So, what do you say Pam? Sow with the very real possibility of loss, or keep with the guarantee of no gain? =)

Anonymous said...

very inspiring nick chan... i agree with you.

adrian said...

Disapointment is the result of unmet expectation. Sad enough, it usually comes when we least expect it. If we focus on the dissapointment, eventually it MAGNIFIES and becomes 'Heavier' and will retards us from progressing further.

However if we choose to get over it and 'appreciate' the existence of dissapointment, then we get to learn valuable lessons in life that mammon cant buy.

It is there to atest your faith and to mould you into a better person so that you can live life VICTORIOUSLY.

We know that it is easily said than to be done, BUT we also believe that if THERE IS A WILL, THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY! *smile* =)

K.Lo said...

i have 2 solutions to this dilemma when i come across it... which is of course... like never...

1. ALWAYS believe that people will never let you down (people who are believed in tend to not let you down that often) and when they inevitably do, let it be a chip instead of a crack and heavens forbid, a whole shatter of broken glass.

2. Make sure you yourself don't let people down and when you inevitably do, pray so very hard that they are applying solution number 1 to you.

God bless!

Anonymous said...

i think what pam needs now is a pat on the shoulder and say, "i'm with you"

luxen said...

This reminds me of a nice Beatles song, Don't Let Me Down


Don't let me down
Hey, don't let me down
Don't let me down
Don't let me down

Nobody ever loved me like she does
Oo she does, yes she does
And if somebody loved
me like she do me
Oo she do me, you she does

Don't let me down
Hey, don't let me down
Don't let me down
Don't let me down

I'm in love for the first time
Don't you know it's gonna last
It's a love that lasts forever
It's a love that had no past

Don't let me down
Hey, don't let me down
Don't let me down
Don't let me down

And from the first time that
she really done me
Oo she done me, she done me good
I guess nobody ever really done me
Oo she done me, she done me good

Don't let me down
Hey, don't let me down
Don't let me down
Don't let me down

I'm in love for the first time
Don't you know it's gonna last
It's a love that lasts forever
It's a love that had no past

Don't let me down
Hey, don't let me down
Don't let me down
Don't let me down
Hey hey ah
Don't let me down

tracy said...

I know babe. I know.
A hug I'd give you if you were next to me now.

Anonymous said...

My heart aches as I read your post yet I know there is nothing I could do to probably undo your pain. I am sorry for hurting you when I did and I have always loved you and still do. Just like you said, maybe there'll be a better goodbye and a second new beginning.....

Samantha said...

As you grow older and go through life a lot, you'll realise the cold hard truth that: "human are all evil, and the worse creature on earth than any other animals." These people all around us, they hate you when you are good and rich, they look down at you when you are down and out.

You might think that, why? Why so bitter? It's not that. It's just that I have seen and been through. The world is not a rosy bed. It could be full of roses, with lots of thorn though.

That's why, I only save cats and dogs. They are really helpless and always got it from the human, who self-claim to be the higher being. PUI. A real higher being won't bully another creature of God to prove something.

Cats and dogs won't let you down. I know you hate cats, Pam. I used to dislike cats too, but after I saved four helpless kittens from a drain 7 or 8 years ago, though I failed, they died one after another within 10 days even though the vet gave them antibiotic. They were too young and thrown out by some heartless neighbour before they could have the mother's milk. Thrown in the drain some more, tried to drown them, they were not drowned but got pneumonia due to be left in the cold. They were buried in my garden. It's them who inspired me to have a self-funded animal shelter one day.

After them, the almighty kept sending kittens and cats to me. I can hear them cry even they are a block away. Some I make it, some I don't. There are now 13 buried in my garden. 10 live playfully in my house, on and off annoying my lovely dog. Through the journey of saving these creatures, I have learned a lot of general knowledge from my vet to help them better.

We have a few very good human friends too. And a few good ones are enough. Really.

And I'm not going to give you a pat on the shoulder. I'm going to congrat you. Because, your feeling which react to the incident, shows that you have walked one step further in the journey of growing up.

Cheers.

(P. S. And if anyone else here that hates cats, please don't throw out the kittens if any mother cats come and give birth in your house. The mother cat will move them away in one or two weeks' time. Please do the almighty a favor-- love another creature; besides, any cats that choose your house to give birth, that means your house has luck. Thank you.)

Serene said...

felt like this many many times recently..
but you know what..the person who has hurt you feels even worse...
i know because i've been that person who hurts others...

i don't usually comment..but you already know i stalk your blog =p

take care..

adrian said...

The ability to forgive and forget is the greatest LOVE that one soul could ever give to another.This ability will be truly tested when you are in a relationship; especially after marriage. May the wisdom and the knowledge of the Lord be with you! Take care!

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